I do love Peter. I always have.
He has rare moments of radiant faith, naming Jesus as the Christ, walking to Jesus on the water, and so forth.
But most of the time, he’s putting his foot in it.
He’s revealing, God love him, how very much he is not picking up what Jesus is putting down. And I 100% identify with him in that.
I’m always so grateful for Peter’s dumb moments, because they make me feel less alone in my own dumb moments.
So what is Peter’s mistake in our gospel lesson today?
He is trying to quantify grace.
He wants to know exactly how many times he is required to forgive fellow church-members.
Is seven times sufficient? I mean, forgiving someone seven times does seem adequate, even generous.
If we’re patient and compassionate with someone who has hurt us seven times, that would surely be more than enough to fulfill any requirements.
But that is exactly what is wrong with Peter’s approach.
Life in the church is not about fulfilling requirements.
It’s not about checking off boxes for how many times we forgive someone, how many times we care for someone in need, how many times we practice a virtue like gentleness or self-control.
And Jesus tells Peter that he’s in entirely the wrong frame of reference.
He says we must forgive seventy times seven times, which is really saying we must forgive an infinite number of times.
Because as we said, it’s not about keeping count.
If we’re still keeping count in our relationships, we’re sowing the seeds of their destruction.
Anyone who has been through a bad breakup knows this.
When you’re first in love, you forgive little faults and forgettings easily and joyfully.
But as the bloom wears off, you start to keep count in your mind—how many times they forget to take out the garbage, how many times they turn up the radio too loud, how many times you put away the dishes by yourself without help, how many times you pick their laundry up off the floor.
This kind of keeping count leads to keeping score.
You store up ammunition against your partner.
You fight dirty in arguments, bringing up old mistakes and transgressions in new conflicts.
When that happens, you know the break-up or divorce is not far away.
And it all started with keeping count. Continue reading